In my thread I specifically posted how to do Antispark with 100 Ohm resistor. It’s cheaper than getting your self an XT90 anti spark. Basically what Antispark does is limiting the current draw of your ESC capacitors when all circuits are connected. By providing a small resistance, it can’t draw that much amps in short period of time, hence there is no spark. But afterwards, you would need to connect the bigger power connector. Here is a simple diagram of an antispark
So you connect the auxiliary first (no sparking already), then connect the power connector. That simple.
With the XT90 loop key tutorial, it’s all happening in 1 process as you plug the XT90 together (male and female).
But I got to say the way you think it’s abit strange. Why do you want to have such connections? Either to battery / to charger.
The safest way is just to disengage the battery from the ESC completely and make separate cable port for charging (branch it / parallel it from the battery). I believe you would like to install the balancing charger and or powersupply within your electric longboard as well. If that is the case, then you should look for a BMS. BMS is just much smaller and does what balancer does without the bulk of box, displays and other charging features.
I recommend you to read my build, I hope I would shine some light for you. My build components have quiet high similarities as yours. If I am correct with what I mention above, then you should read it!