The %$!* I get asked at the post office

Just tell them its a 3 prongs drilldo. If they ask what that is tell them if you have to ask then you haven’t experienced the best thing life has to offer.

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“oh this . . . This is a fresh shipment of pre-worn laced women’s underwear. I just finished wearing them in, surprisingly more support than you would expect. just got to get them to my distributor for shipping.”

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“United Airlines wouldn’t allow my “real dolls” mechanical vagina on the flight as carry-on so now I’m having to mail it to our destination for reinstallation upon arrival. Now me and her will just have to go raw silicone to get in the mile high club.”


this entire thread hurts me…especially the United Airlines silicon travesty :slight_smile:


@mmaner ikr. I’m really expecting some kind of award here.


I would say it’s tubs of hemaroid cream… You over ordered…

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I’m starting to think about how I approach people on the forum with most of these post written about Dildo’s. But anyways something else would be about an expandable dildo with 2HP electric engine installed. Hahahaha

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its my DOOOOOOOOM’S DAY device… yessss… of DOOOOOM…

kind sir, what classification would a DOOOOOM’S DAAAAAY DEVIIICCCEEE fall under for over seas shipping? I need to make sure all of the paperwork is in order for my device to reach the embassy at precisely 4:57pm thursday…


We use motors here dude. Not engines


so today I went back into the lair of my enemy. not only was there no audience the fun killing bastard at the counter didnt ask me what was in my package.

This slight upon my person will not go unanswered! little do they know of the team i have behind me writing my material…


drop a 100 pound box on the counter.

“This is my manifesto, i’m sending it to the radio station. THE WORLD NEED TO KNOW.”

then just walk out.


“hollow ladders”

“cereal paint”

“hair caltrops”

“used potatoes”


Tell them it’s extra small condoms, they don’t carry micro penis sized condoms at the drug store, but you gotta stay safe



What about a collection of porcelain elephants, which are having sex, for a pervert Lichtenstein prince?

Or special package for German religious fanatics containing cut off Jewish foreskins?

or ivory from Alaskan mammoth for pagan Vietnamese ceremonies?

(insulting every nation possible :smiley: )

or list of ppl you want to kill :slight_smile: Cersei, Ilynn Payne, Hound…

or set of cassettes with bird singing determined for zoophiles…


Truck hangars.



@DavidBanner “I’m considering getting a second penile reduction, but the surgeon who did the first one is now working overseas. They asked me to take a casting of the offending member and mail it to them so they could “evaluate” it.”

Is is odd that someone named after a giant whale penis is talking about penile reduction?

…Maybe? :stuck_out_tongue:

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“Well, Newcastle recently ran out of coal and they need all the help they can get, soooo…”

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